Whose Responsible… Wedding Particulars?

If your son or daughter is getting married, read this article for advice on who should pay for the wedding.

As you probably know, tradition had it that the bride's family paid the majority of the wedding costs. This was great for the groom's family, but could cause serious stress for the parents of the bride.

Traditionally, the bride's family would cover the costs for goods and services as listed as below:

• Engagement party

• Cost of the ceremony, including location, music, rentals, and all other expenses

• Entire cost of the reception, including location, food, beverage, entertainment, rental items, decorations, and wedding cake

• Bride's wedding dress, veil, and accessories

• Wedding gift for the couple

• Bridesmaids' bouquets

• Bridesmaids' luncheon

• Photography

• Flowers

Below is the traditional expenses that would be the groom’s family responsibility:

• Rehearsal dinner

• Travel and accommodations for the groom's family

• Honeymoon

• Wedding gift for bride and groom

While the groom was traditionally responsible for paying for the honeymoon, some families of either the bride or groom now pay for the honeymoon as a wedding present to the couple.

As you can see, tradition was not financially kind to the bride's family. Fortunately, at least if you're looking at the situation from the viewpoint of that family, times have changed. Rather than burden one family with practically the entire cost of a wedding, it is common practice these days for both families—and sometimes the bride and groom—to share expenses.

Some modern options for paying for a wedding include:

• The bride and groom pay for the entire wedding

• Expenses are divided evenly between the couple, the bride's family, and the groom's family

• Each family covers the cost for the number of guests it invites

• The bride's family and groom's family split the expenses evenly

How you decide to divide the costs of your son's or daughter's wedding depends primarily on the financial situation of each family, and of the bride and groom themselves. However there are some circumstances and common sense—not tradition—that now dictate who will pay what for a wedding.

The best way to decide who will pay for what is for both families (or all the families that apply) and the couple to sit down together and have a frank discussion about what each party can afford to contribute. It's best if you can get everyone together at one time to brainstorm and share information. 

Don't Go There

The sure way for a newly married couple to be overwhelmed and stressed is getting thousands of dollars in debt with a loan to pay for their wedding. If your son or daughter is considering taking out a wedding loan, do everything you can to discourage them.

After the families brainstorming session, you learn how much money each family and the bride and groom can contribute, you can then decide on what kind of wedding to begin planning.

No one should feel bad if you're a parent of the bride and can't afford to pay for the entire wedding. Very few people expect that anymore. And, don't offer to pay for something you can't afford. There's no law that says every wedding has to cost more than $15,000, or $10,000, or even $5,000.

Some couples, or their families, decide they simply must pull out all the stops for a wedding. They want nothing but the best, even if they can't afford to pay for it. To facilitate their dreams, they take out wedding loans.

If you feel you absolutely must take a loan to pay for a wedding, don't even think about a wedding loan. Look at a home equity loan instead, for which the interest rate would be much lower.

Epic Event Strategists is ready to serve you with knowledge, grace, and poise; to make your special day come to life with a grand entrance for you and all your guests.  You may contact us via telephone at 312.428.5103 or email: info@epiceventstrategists.com or text 815-596-9060: We are located 4440 Lincoln Ave, Matteson, IL. Our website is www.epiceventstrategists.com